Contests, Vogan Poetry and More …
As we all know, the absolute worst poetry in the Universe was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings. The third worst poetry is written by the Vogons; frequently used as a form of torture. Yesterday Shelby suggested we invite poets to send in poems inspired by the subject line of spam e-mail but I think we can do one better. Now you too can inflict pain on your loved ones and friends, with this Vogan Poetry Generator. Today's Vogan poem goes as follows:
See, see the nightingale sky
Marvel at its big banana wax depths.
Tell me, Eli do you
Wonder why the Idaho Dairy Farmer ignores you?
Why his foobly stare
makes you feel groggy?
I can tell you, he is
Worried by your zarky facial growth
That looks like
A glorious cheese.
What's more, he knows
Your frock potting shard
Smells of bitter, bitter applesause.
Everything under the big nightingale sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm penumbras.
Poor Eli! Poor Idaho Dairy Farmer! But I suppose it is true; there is no love in poetry, especially computer-generated poems. Speaking of which, today is the deadline for many contests. I submitted manuscripts to the Yale Series of Younger Poets Prize, Bakeless Bread Loaf Writer's Prize as well as The Walt Whitman Award. I also submitted a translation to the Willis Barnstone Translation Prize and am in the process of updating my Contest, Submissions page on this blog.
Plus, if you want a FREE POETRY BOOK, check out the new page in the upper right hand corner and e-mail me. Whatever I send you can't be worse than the line: You only charm penumbras. Indeed.