need
I have been reading The Poetic Essence of AngelaMichelle, by Angela M. Smith (Triple Goddess Publications, 2006). I am curious how other poets deal with "need." I use this in the broadest way possible, since right now I need sleep … but I have needed a good night rest for years. Working as night nurse helped cover up my difficult and restless nights but still 3 to 4 hours a night of rest hasn't exactly helped me. Here is Angela M. Smith's poem dealing with the subject of destiny (which is sort of like need on many levels):
Time and tide
Wait for no man
You either live your dreams
Or regret the memories
Of letting that ship sail
The clock does not stop
For you to live that moment
Over
There is no instant replay
So make haste
Not waste
And fulfill your destiny. (page 13)
I like that a lot. Her poetry reminds me of L.A. poet Wanda Coleman. In "Baptism" Coleman writes: "this is the place in the music where/ the soloist steps up to the mike/ and obsesses over an ear/ and the couches and tables catch fire …" (Ostinato Vamps, 104) Both Smith and Coleman have a certainty about their work, a feeling of knowing exactly what they want and how to get it. Even if it feels impossible on certain levels. Perhaps that is what makes this powerful poets. The ability to own their needs. I hope one day to be able to do that too. One day.
ai! ai! is an exclamation. ai! love!
is a joke, love + pain. last night you filled
the whole room. I envy deep sleep above
all else you are a deep sleeper. I'm skilled
too, at certain things. But if you distilled
those things down, cricket, what good are they? Sleep
is a skill. Dreaming a greed. I have willed
myself still but not even greed will keep
company with me. Only nightmares creep
inside. I ask for so little and get
it. Ai! love! is a joke. Deep love + deep
pain keeps me awake. Let there be greed. Let
me ask for greed. Greed. Greed I have forgot
to ask for. Ask. I cannot — I cannot —