the promise of the apple
"into desire I shall come"
– fragment 96. Sappho. translated by Anne Carson (193)
Desire, like promises, are weighing heavily on me today. Not desire as carnal, but desire as in action. My friend Katya sent me a new photograph this morning. She wrote in her letter:
I made [this photo] after watching the movie "Da Vinchi Code," the idea of the movie influenced me much, especially, the idea of the Rose, that it is a sign of some help for all the suffering people who are officially neglected and restricted from their rights (Middle Asian women included). But - this particular work is not actually about the movie's idea, I was just still wearing the costume, and decided to make some other shots, so ended up with this apple…and I thought about those Greek myths about the goddess of beauty,Afrodita…and that this fruit was the case for argue among some other goddeses.
I spent some time thinking about that. For all of us not restricted by others. For all of us who can do things to help others, who should but don't. Then there is Aphrodite's apple. The apple has many functions in mythology (there is the Fall in the Garden of Eden; Paris in Greek myth is suppose to give a golden apple "to the fairest" of the goddesses, oi vey!) but to me the apple is a promise. A promise to remember where I am in this world. The privileges I take for granted. The directions I need to go.
I am leaving for Chicago for several days. For several days I will be away from all this — this blog, these poems, all these photographs — it is the time of giving thanks. It is good to give thanks, though I have friends who argue it is hypocritical. Today on NPR the headlines read:
* The United Nations reports that more than 3,700 Iraqi civilians were killed in October;
* A woman who claims she was forced to marry her cousin when she was 14 testified Tuesday at a preliminary hearing for polygamist leader Warren Jeffs. The court is trying to decide whether Jeffs should stand trial on rape charges;
* A Marine investigation into the killing of 24 Iraqis in the town of Haditha is almost done.
Considering all of that. Considering Katya's calling us to remember all "who are officially neglected and restricted from their rights (Middle Asian women icluded)" I think giving thanks for these little islands of peace we might find in this terrible storm is an obligation. Otherwise the fates will hear you, the fates will know when you're taking the mickey out of them. It's a scary world. This is a scary time.
Here is the secret I want
to give to you because
I give out secrets. I like you
and give the way the fates
give, soothingly,
smoothingly.
You knew you could
put honey in your mouth
to sweeten all this and
you did. You knew
you could read all this
and you did. The ego
says "i" and underneath that?
You knew the legend says
the goat moon marks
certain of us. Certain
of us like you. And
me. Marked. You knew
the story of the apple. Not
that apple but this apple.
You knew the song
I sing in these hills.
You sing it too. Softly.
No words. No tune. But
softly since its the fates
who say I must rise. You must
wait with a secret. This secret
song, song of the apple. This
apple and its promise. It is a
promise I want to talk to you
about. Bite hard and into
this promise I shall arrive.
Work Cited
Carson, Anne (trans). If Not, Winter: fragments of Sappho. New York: Knopf (2006)