whoever still lives in europe
My own personal mythology changes a bit each time I re-tell it. While I know a lot concerning the families on my mother's side (the Boyds, and the Browns and the Konas) I am never very sure who my father's side is or was. Sometimes they were watch makers from Minsk. Other times they were wandering hazzans, or holy cantors. I even heard once there was a whole village of my people destroyed by the Nazis in World War II. Orysia Paszczak Tracz talks about:
When I was growing up, I knew a man with a row of dark blue letters on his arm. When I asked about it, he said that he was a "katsetnyk," that is, one who "sat in the 'katset.' " I had heard that word often. It is an acronym for the German abbreviation KZ, for konzentrationslager, i.e., concentration camp …
Perhaps, somewhere in the mix of all these mythologies, lies some truth. My father is nearly the last on my fraternal side; I never met most of his family, even as a small child. I know of a couple of his distant, distant cousins on the East coast and, perhaps, whoever still lives in Europe. One day, or so I tell myself, I shall go and find out who my people were. One day I shall. Perhaps one day I shall.
I'm poor. A lame bull god. Grandfather said
our caste was traced back to Rasputin; Jews
and the wandering cantors, the rest dead.
A whole village full of those blue tattoos
that went up in smoke. "Here in this burned-out
poppy field," the song goes, "the last rebel
angels fell." Yes, we have sung deep about
your god and all his mistakes. "How Noble
is Our Sacrifice" (a popular one
in its time) also, "Pleasure is a Sin."
But, not even the goat can remain chaste
and I'm a cantor of skin and heaven.
Show me your skin. I will sing of your skin.
I, a lame bull god, and you, all shame-faced.
An Interesting Note: It did not occur to me until I just viewed the collage art I am using in this blog entry but the hill behind Rasputin (yes, that is the Mad Monk himself) is covered in crosses to mark the sight of the Morning Star, Lucifer's, battle against Heaven. I am not sure what grave markers would actually have been used, not Stars of David and probably not crosses … maybe something by Sarah Hillman?
